Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
