I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
