I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
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Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
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It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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