Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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