well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This is classic penis vs brain.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
