There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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