It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
