I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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