i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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