i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
