I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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