I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
