I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
