Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
