Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
