I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
