Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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