My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
