This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
