Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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