I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
