She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
