kristin has been a bad kristin
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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