She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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