Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize