If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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