no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
