Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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