Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
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she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
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Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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