Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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