i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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