dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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