So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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