She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I understand Curling. That high.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
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