The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize