Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
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