he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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