he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Buhtt sex?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
