i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
