I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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