i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
