Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
