never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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