i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
