Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
