So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
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help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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