Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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