I'm going to jail i love you
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
