I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
