found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
