"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's never too late to be topless.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
