bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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