Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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