TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
