I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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