OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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