at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
They took my balls.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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