So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
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Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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